crush crush crush

The young girl's name was NUR AISHAH. By nature , she was honest, fragile , virtuous and full of love. So young, so fresh, yet so discriminating. Almost too good to be true.

Her tranquil face defines every possible emotions that one could parade. It was so eloquent, easy to discern. So do her glassy faded blue eyes. Sad, dejected,doleful, all at once. The feelings that she'd shown were visible enough that i could slightly taste her bitter woes. Every emotions that she felt slurping into mine, with their very own ways of communicating. It took me seconds to realize that my eyes were already burning, tears escaped. I was in pain. It wasn't my pain. It was her. I switched my gaze to the other side of the angle. ;[ With intentions that I'd conceal the agony from this young delicate girl;] to make the agony obscured from every gaze. Enough pain I've caused she. Though, i was too late. She's too vigilant to be fooled. Hawk-eyed gaze of her still locked firmly on me. Too sharp that i could still sense the edges even with my eyelids glued .

When i turned back slowly, to have a quick glance of her, that little girl docked the distance that kept us apart. She was just a stretched-hand away from my side. At the corner of her lips had a line crooked a bit, assuming that it was a smile. A smile that haunts with sincerity. Her hands landed gently on my cheeks. So warm yet so soothing. Funny how a very petite hand could do such thing. Her small palm, still neatly affixed on my cheeks when our gaze met . It made me felt less edgy, less antagonizing. A part of me felt abundantly secured. None of the pain was significant anymore. The dolor finally left through out the wide door across my chest. It was phenomenal.

'Don't cry BEN. You look ugly. ' She pressed her lips together into a tight line. Making she look a bit older than her actual age. Her velvety voice were too irresistible for a kid. Forehead creased , creating a few lines that made her look somber.

'BEN? ' Curiosity was anywhere closed to me. My heart beats so fast that it might skipped a few beats. I wonder if she had the wrong person. That isn't my name. Or is it ? How can i not know my own name? Every time i question myself, i will get entirely flummoxed, head spins . I had no answers, it remained inexplicable. I bit my lips, desolated with the failure.

'That is your name. BENJAMIN . BEN . Don't you remember anything? ' Her eyes enlarged, she might burst into tears again. My heart would pop out any second now, swelling with pity and guilt. Seeing her desolated made me weak, unbearable. Knowing, she's my true weakness.

I shook with disagreement. No words left to be spoken. As much as this grieves her, it sure is worst to me. I never thought how dysfunctional my brain could be. Every single memories of mine went missing. Afraid if they're gone for good. I'd do anything to have them back. -- Hurting her was never my option, or even closed to be optional. Every time she called me with that name, Ben, i'd cease my words. Blinking with edginess. As if , she was calling for someone else but its me that she wanted to call for.

' Wh.. where .. am .. i ? ' My breathe shortened a bit. Difficult for me to finish a sentence without letting silent gaps sunder every words i'd say.

I rolled my eyes side by side, scrutinizing every details across the room. Small room , painted with baby blue color. The color diluted somehow, there was black spots on it. ; A dressing table far corner of the room, that looked as though it was about to crack, while, parallel to it lies a small wooden bureau that had bottles of medicines on it. Above me was another wooden shelve that had jumbles of old magazines. Nothing recent. I groaned silently, veiling the disappointment as possible.

' Oh.. You're at the hospital Ben.. ' Salmiah's voice trembles all of the sudden. 'You are still.. urm.. sick. Doctor wouldn't let you out for a few more days' She sighed.

Curiosity kills the cat. I'd die to know every plausible explanation why i am here but i'd want to ask someone else. Salmiah is so delicate, so fragile. Taking risks are something that i am not capable of doing right now. There was a flow of questions marks that were circulating in my bloodstream, waiting for the lucid retorts.

'Salmiah..' I swallowed the lump that was clinging between my throat. She laid her eyes on me without blinking, anxious. ' Is there .. anyone else i could talk to? Perhaps a doctor? ' I pursed my lips, afraid if i might offend her.

Her eyes widened , nodding with agreement.
' Hold on. ' She sprinted out from the room , as if she's in an utter rush. Fear that she'd wound herself for the running. One blink and she was no longer in the scene.

The silence that lasted for quite a spell made me inquisitive about the words that came out from her, that young girl. she was not just another regular girl, she's exceptional. A part of me made me felt adoreable, superduper insane girl which is waited for someone for 6-7years. Although, there was no memories left to be recalled , to reveal who she is, i just know i remember her from somewhere , buried along with my wounded emotion.

p/s : i wish i got a girlfriend like this ! :]